Effects of Cheating on Children

Cheating has undeniable negative effects on spouses and partners. However, it doesn’t stop there. It also affects children, creating insecurity and a sense of loss and abandonment in their young minds. Cheating’s effects on children can be profound, affecting them well into adulthood. Some of its possible consequences are detailed below:

Children learn to mistrust adults and their judgments.
Adults are traditionally the source of model behavior for children. What adults show by example, children learn to do. Adults, especially the parents, are supposed to provide support and assurance for their children.

Unfortunately, when cheating occurs in either or both parents, this sense of assurance is shattered. This leaves the children feeling vulnerable, with no adult support to turn to when they need it. When there are no other adults in their lives to assist them emotionally, this problem worsens. Children learn to see the adults in their lives as weak individuals who cannot be trusted, making children feel unnecessarily that they are on their own.

Children have to deal with an unstable family.
Families are supposed to provide a solid foundation for children. Adults in the family are supposed to make children feel secure and protected. When cheating wrecks its emotional havoc on the adults concerned, children feel this, too. They go home to a house where there is stress, tension and even fighting. The lack of a loving atmosphere in the home will make children feel unwanted. In some cases, some children might even blame themselves for problems they did not create.

Children develop a false sense of what’s right in a relationship.
Children often look at their parents and see what they want to be or not want to be. They also look at parents as the model for many of the things that will prove crucial in their lives, including friendships and intimate relationships.

When children see their parents getting involved in inappropriate relationships, they view this as acceptable. Their view about what healthy intimate relationships should be becomes skewed.

Children learn to lie.
This often happens if they witness one or both parents getting involved in extramarital relationships and lie about it. Cheating people often have to lie and deceive their spouses or partners just to avoid confrontation. Some parents might even ask their children to lie for them in case the other parent asks. As a result, children learn that lying can have its advantages – it lets you get away with something and it prevents you from getting punished.

Children become disillusioned about commitment.
Commitment requires sacrifice and consideration for others. When children see their parents cheat, they learn that yes, you can ignore what other people feel. Even when they suffer, you can look the other way because your wants and desires have to be fulfilled first and foremost. And yes, it’s okay to sacrifice your family and everything you hold dear just to satisfy a temporary need, that it’s perfectly excusable to be inconsiderate and selfish.

Children learn that it’s okay to give up that easily.
Hollywood actor Bernie Mac was once asked how he has maintained such a strong marriage and he replied that he had to fight for something he loved. These days, he said, people no longer fight for anything. Another effect of cheating on children is that it teaches them that it’s okay to let their values go or to compromise your principles. Or that it’s perfectly acceptable to hurt someone and no longer fight to keep the relationship strong. In the end, they’ll find that they don’t stand for anything anymore.