To Catch Your Cheating Spouse

Doug and Chris Young’s names may not ring a bell to most people, but they are the subject of admiration and disbelief to people who have read about their relationship as husband and wife. Chris, a relationship counselor and her husband Doug, live in Surrey, England. They had been married for nearly 25 years when Doug confessed his extramarital dalliances to his wife, one of which was with her best friend. After much consideration, Chris decided to give their marriage a second chance.

Worst case of infidelity? Not really. Here are people who will surprise you:

Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco
The infamy of Joey Buttafuoco’s infidelity is only shadowed by his young mistress’ subsequent actions. Amy Fisher was only 16 when she started having an affair with the 30-something Buttafuoco in 1991. Fisher was so in love with Buttafuoco that she even agreed to work as a prostitute after he introduced her to an escort service.

Fisher repeatedly asked Buttafuoco to leave Mary Jo but he refused. In May of 1992, Fisher walked up to the Buttafuoco’s home and shot Mary Jo in the face. She survived and Fisher was imprisoned. After her release, Fisher became a writer and tried to live her life away from the limelight, except for some televised interviews and meetings with the Buttafuocos.
(en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amy_Fisher)

Richard Kudlik
Richard Kudlik had an allure that proved irresistible to many women – he had a badge, a gun, a Dodge pickup he used to hunt wanted criminals as a U.S. marshal and he was charming. It wasn’t long before he began having relationships with several women – 11, to be exact.

Unfortunately, Kudlik also lied about being a U.S. marshal. He was actually a maintenance man who also happened to be married to a woman for 17 years. After several complaints from his ex-girlfriends, Kudlik was promptly arrested and charged with impersonating a law officer and illegal possession of a fake service badge.

David and Clara Harris
David and Clara Harris seemed the perfect couple. They had thriving careers and had a happy relationship. Clara even got along well with David’s daughter, Lindsey, from a former marriage. However, all that changed when David started having an affair with Gail Bridges.

Incensed, Clara took Lindsey and staked out David and Gail at a hotel where they stayed. Clara confronted the lovers and later when they walked out of the hotel, ran over David three times, with Lindsey in the car with her. During her trial, Lindsey, David’s parents and his brother all testified for Clara, saying that she loved David and tried hard to make their marriage work.

For many soldiers, especially those who are deployed in far locations, the loneliness and homesickness are probably as bad as the conditions they have to live in and the war they have to fight. Not only that, they also have their personal relationships to manage, particularly those soldiers who are married, have a family or significant other left at home. When there is so much distance between two people and the ever-present threat of uncertainty in the war, many soldiers find their relationships threatened by infidelity.

Youth and infidelity
There are many soldiers who marry equally young partners who are often ill-equipped emotionally to handle the required adjustments and maturity level necessary to sustain relationships. The marital situation is even made more difficult if young children are involved. Left at home, a young spouse can become lonely and seek the companionship that his or her soldier spouse cannot give. Furthermore, marital issues left unresolved before the soldier’s deployment can be worsened by the distance.

A poignant example of this is that of a soldier from Tikrit, Iraq who wrote Amy Alkon (The Advice Goddess) about his wife. Apparently, his wife confessed about her attraction to another guy and that she wasn’t sure if she could still remain faithful should the other guy make his move. Alkon’s advice was sympathetic but practical: fight for your marriage if you see it’s worth it or come to an agreement that without fidelity there is nothing worth fighting for.

The problem with soldiers and infidelity
Although psychiatric counseling is available for many soldiers to help them cope, not many of them use this service. Soldiers may also be concerned about infidelities concerning their spouses and vice versa. Furthermore, soldiers returning home and becoming part of their family again have to go through several adjustments.

Cases of infidelity among soldiers are often a concern particularly because it affects their job. It is widely observed in the military that soldiers who have happy marital relationships are more productive and those dealing with problematic relationships see their performance degrade.

This is something that can spell disaster especially when a soldier is sent on a mission or goes into combat.

Unhappy endings
In an article published in the Democrats.org page regarding deployed soldiers’ marital stability and mental health, studies performed by the Mental Health Advisory found out that there was an increase in the number of marital and mental health problems in more than 1,300 soldiers and about 440 Marines. Aside from the prevalence of post traumatic stress disorder, about 20% of soldiers surveyed reported they were contemplating or planning either a separation or a divorce. Incidents of these problems increase in number as the length of deployment increases.

Sega Corporation recently developed the game “Heart Scan”, which operates similarly to a lie detector test and is playable in Nintendo DS gaming units. The company describes their new game as one that could reveal if an individual is “rattled” when words like marriage, divorce, living together, extramarital affair, and rendezvous are mentioned.

Heart Scan can analyze human voices and produce charts, drawings, figures, and text relating to the results of scans. It can also be used to analyze the psyche of manga or animation characters as well as news reporters on TV. It can show if a person is angry, disappointed, cheerful, nervous, or calm.

All these are made possible by the sensibility technology created by SGI Japan and Advanced Generation Interface Japan Inc. The latter company apparently uses Heart Scan to determine the moods of employees answering phone calls and those who were lodging complaints. Different tone patterns with their respective emotional labels of voice samples were used to properly analyze the subject’s present mood. These patterns were called “parameters”. Parameters considered by the technology did not, however, consider the volume of voice samples being studied.

Yasushi Nagumo, a spokesman for Sega, encourages individuals to try using it to analyze people in the workplace, interview possibly dishonest individuals, and examine the sincerity of lovers as a way of gauging its effectiveness. Nagumo also advises users to avoid prematurely judging their partners just because they sound “nervous”.

Heart Scan was officially launched in the marketplace last August 16, 2007, but there is still no word from Sega about its possible international release. As of now, only people in Japan will be able to take advantage of the one-push-button offer of Heart Scan for immediate detection of possible infidelity.

Marital partners concerned about infidelity issues can certainly try using Heart Scan to determine if their spouses are truly faithful. And those who aren’t concerned should be, especially women. Statistics show that fifty to seventy percent of husbands are unfaithful to their wives at one point or another. Studies also reveal that most of extramarital affairs of husbands occur during the summer.

Virtual infidelity may also be a cause of concern. A Wall Street journal detailed how a woman may have certain need to worry when her husband spends 8 hours a day with his wife in Second Life, a virtual reality game. He becomes so addicted to it that he ends up ignoring his real wife in a number of incidents.

Who would have thought that an emotionally devastating case of infidelity and subsequent divorce can have a positive effect on one woman? Alison Theiss of Wooster, Ohio proved that there is hope after a dark episode in her life as a married woman and turned that event into a business opportunity designed to inform and assist other individuals like her to learn how to protect themselves and if necessary, to fight back. Theiss became a businesswoman because her husband’s infidelity made her.

A new beginning
Alison Theiss was a happily married woman until she discovered that her husband of many years was planning to leave her. Worse, she also found out that her philandering husband was not only moving in with his new found love, he was also in the process of cleaning out their bank accounts and assets.

Theiss noted a change in her husband’s behavior after she came home from a business trip. Using her intuition and some investigative skills, she uncovered some valuable information that filled her ‘evidence file’. After gathering enough, she promptly filed for divorce, way ahead of her husband. In the end, she got the house and most of their assets, leaving her husband with only a beat up car and the clothes on his back.

Starting Cheat Peeps
Cheat Peeps started casually, when Theiss helped a friend by doing a background check on a guy she had been dating. Theiss claimed that the simple research saved her friend from wasting a good amount of money and prevented a potentially problematic relationship. Theiss, who also began dating again, noticed that people had a tendency to make up information about them to make themselves more attractive.

Theiss also realized that if she hadn’t pursued evidence of her husband’s infidelity on her own, she and her son would have been left with financial troubles. She thought other people could use the kind of skills she had accidentally developed.

This was the beginning of her foray into entrepreneurship by starting CheatPeeps.com, a site offering investigative services to clients who wish to learn more about their spouses or potential partners. She called her business Cheat Peeps.

About the service
Cheat Peeps, according to Theiss, is not a private investigation agency and they will not perform physical surveillance of their subjects. They only perform research online. Investigative services include Potential Partner Check, Evidence File collection and e-mail discovery.

Thanks to her quick thinking, Theiss now has a thriving online business that helps address potential problems and provide people with the kind of assistance she never had when she needed it. As for her husband… he’s probably still stunned that his infidelity has made his wife a businesswoman.

Is there such thing as too high a price to pay for an affair? In some states in the U.S., that seems to be the case. George Berg from North Carolina sued his then-wife’s lover for stealing her affections. His price? A settlement of $150,000 paid in monthly installments.

Curious about this extra vengeful anti-philandering law? Here are some things you should know:

Anti-Casanova law
The law, which most people refer to as the ‘tort of the alienation of affection’, is an old law, dating back to the 1800s. It was meant to protect the husband’s interests by fining his wife’s lover so that the husband can buy a new wife. This was practiced among the Germanic tribes to ensure that the bloodlines remained pure. It was also based on the antiquated belief that the husband owned the wife. If she takes on a lover, she was considered stolen from her husband.

In 1864, New York and almost all states in the U.S. established the ‘alienation of affection’ causes of action for men. It was only in the late 19th and 20th centuries that the law was equalized to include women.

By definition, this extra vengeful anti-philandering law states that a husband or wife can file a suit against the lover if his/her spouse leaves them to be with the third party. In order for the law to be effective, the complainant should show that:

- love existed between the spouses before the affair
- the marital relationship was destroyed and alienated
- the third party demonstrated conduct that maliciously interfered with the marital relationship

Although many states have already abolished this law because of its ties to antiquated beliefs and practices and because of its seemingly vengeful nature, it is still a law in several states. Other than North Carolina, there’s Utah, South Carolina, Hawaii, Mississippi, New Mexico, Illinois and New Hampshire that still recognizes this anti-philandering law.

So are people being faithful in these states? Based on recent news stories related to this vengeful anti-philandering law, they aren’t being faithful – they’re being careless. A man in Illinois sued a German guy with whom his wife fell for during a ’swinging’ affair which, strangely enough, the husband encouraged. He was paid $4,800.

In Burlington, North Carolina (again), Dorothy Hutelmyer is suing Lynne Cox for $1 million for stealing her husband Joseph. Cox (now Mrs. Hutelmyer herself), who says she earns less than $500 a month, doesn’t have the money to pay Dorothy’s asking price nor does she have the resources to contest the ruling.

Will this law ever be abolished and free up every state in the U.S. to make philanderers breathe much easier? That remains to be seen, as several states cling stubbornly to this law. If you foresee this extra-vengeful law haunting your future, either stop your philandering ways now or move to another state.

Social networking sites are a blessing for any person who wants to get reconnected to their past or who likes to meet new people online. High school alumni, for example, would like to get in touch with their high school friends or simply know how they are doing. Desperate lovers hope to find the opposite sex of their dreams even among the pages of Myspace and Facebook. Yet these social networking sites are also destroying relationships, both of lovers and of spouses.

The act of spying has become so widespread nowadays that it has even earned strange terms such as Facestalking or MyStalking in the English language. What makes it all the more prevalent is the fact that the act itself is not illegal, convenient, easy, and free. Most of all, it is very hard for anyone to trace somebody who may be spying on you. Almost everyone is guilty of it. Nevertheless, it should be emphasized the in general these social networking sites are not used mainly to snoop on other people’s profiles, particularly of loved ones. They can actually add fuel to the fire, especially to those individuals who have the tendency to turn jealous quickly.

Those who are in rather difficult or young relationships are the most susceptible to the act of spying as well as to its effects. A comment on the page, a racy or sexy photo, an offensive name, or a social status that doesn’t speak of any exclusivity are more than enough reasons for couples to argue and eventually live separate lives.

There are even times when nightmares turn to reality when partners will notice the sudden eccentric behaviors of their husbands or wives. This is usually when acquaintances brought about by social networking sites are continued even after they logged out. Males tend to spend more time being online, especially during late nights when cybersex chat rooms are plenty. They may even carry conversations privately without the knowledge of their partner. The wives, meanwhile, could already be setting various web-based e-mail accounts behind their husband’s backs. There’s a frantic mouse clicking every time there is a slight opening of the door. This is to conceal windows and programs that he or she doesn’t want you to know about.

But can you blame Myspace or Facebook for your partner’s infidelity? Certainly not! It can only be your tool to either confirm or deny your hunch. The real basis of relationship is trust. Once it’s broken, no type of technology can ever bring it back.

The laws are considered to be protectors of people’s rights, regardless of their age, gender, race, or religion. Any violation to these rights should be dealt with accordingly and justice should be served fairly.

However, such cannot be told when it comes to adultery laws. Even during the early Grecian times, inequality existed. For example, if a married man was caught having a sexual intercourse with an unmarried or slave woman, the act was not considered a crime. There was an implied privilege among the males: they have the pleasure of keeping mistresses to satisfy themselves. The purpose of the wives was to bear their children and to maintain their household.

A Roman law known as jus tori was granted to the husband. It defined adultery in such a way that the husband shall not be guilty of it unless it was with another married woman. It’s no surprise therefore that history can present a long list of names who took advantage of this special kind of immunity, such as Verus, a colleague of Marcus Aurelius.

Under the Shariah law, the penalty for any married Muslim individual found guilty of adultery is stoning. However, before the judgment can be met, there are several factors that should be considered. There should be 4 males or 8 females who can testify that the accused have never performed the immoral acts. The need for 8 female witnesses stemmed from the idea that a single female is only a half man.

Complications may also arise when a divorced woman gets pregnant because of rape. There are Shariah courts that do not honor DNA testing or assessment of probable paternity through other kinds of blood tests. If an unmarried woman gets pregnant because of the crime, she can be convicted because of extramarital affair and be stoned to death. If she cannot prove to the court her case despite her claim against rape, she can still receive grave punishment because of false accusation.

It may be then comforting to know, though, that a man decided to step up and transform these double-standard adultery laws. Richard Gordon, a Philippine senator, had submitted two bills seeking amendment on the present laws for adultery and concubinage. It will facilitate in the establishment of a far more equal judgment for both sexes found guilty of the crime.
It should be known that under the Philippine law, a wife who has sexual relations with a man other than her husband is already considered adulterous. A married man, on the other hand, is not committing concubinage unless he has placed his mistress under a conjugal dwelling or both of them are living together in another place.

The abolition against inequality in adultery laws should be persevered. After all, no one should be above the law.

Whoever believes that anyone can just get away with cheating just as easily is 101 percent wrong. There are partners who will hunt you even at the ends of the earth, laws to make sure that you are imprisoned in no time, and cheating fines to guarantee you go empty handed. Most of all, you are forever shamed in society’s history.

Up in Latin America, married Colombians who are cheating in their wives or husband will now be thinking real hard before they proceed with their illicit affairs. Not only will it cause them the loss of their marriage but of cash as well, once the legislation receives an approval.

This was after Edgar Espindola, a senator, proposed the creation of a law that will impose penalties in offenders. The amount will be equivalent to 20 minimum salaries every month, or around U.S. $4,000. Added to that, they need to render mandatory welfare service. If it wasn’t enough, even individuals to whom they are flirting with can suffer the same kinds of penalties. Aggrieved parties can simply take their complaints to local family courts, along with their proofs such as photographs, letters, receipts, and phone numbers, among others. Nonetheless, should the complaining party forgive the other, then there shall be no reason to proceed with the case.

The senator believes that marriage should be viewed as a very holy union. It merits respect from both parties. The law will then motivate all citizens of Colombia to instill such values into their family, especially in their growing children.

The proposal, however, has become a butt of joke among local radio hosts. After all, there is a high percentage that they themselves will kill it to hide their own indiscretions.

In Hollywood, even before the much-awaited wedding of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez came to a complete and indefinite halt, there was already a prenuptial agreement. One of the most significant clauses was the cheating fine, which actually range in millions. The fidelity clause was due to Jennifer’s demand in order to assure herself that her third marriage will not end up the way her other two had. A $5 million fine shall be paid by Ben if he is found cheating. If both lie, however, they will be fined $1 million.

Fines or no fines, though, husband and wife—and even lovers—should work their way through their relationship and should never resort to cheating. The complications brought by it can never be quantified by any amount of cash.

As the Bible said, what God has put together let no man separate. And yet this may not hold true at all to a number of celebrities. After a few years—or even months—of wedded bliss they both bow out. Sometimes it gets worse, with every one of them washing their linen in public.

Christie Brinkley was a celebrated fashion model. At the height of her career and after her divorce with Billy Joel, she met Pete Cook, an architect from Long Island. Living at the Hamptons, while rearing their two children named Sailor and Jack, Christie and Pete seemed to be a very contented couple until the latter cheated.

It was alleged that Pete cheated on Christie with Diana Bianchi, an 18-year-old girl who worked in the firm as Pete’s assistant. It came to Christie’s knowledge on June 25, 2006, when the Diana’s stepdad, Brian Platt, informed her of the illicit affair. Despite the public apology issued by Pete, they remain estranged until now.

Not even NBA giants can be spared with bitter divorce proceedings. The latest buzz is that Shaquille O’Neal of the Miami Heat had just called it quits with Shaunie, his wife of almost 5 years. Per documents presented in the court, the grounds was said to be “irretrievably broken.” Shaq is also requesting his soon-to-be-ex wife to present proper accounting of her finances and that he will be given the sole custody of the children. However, an entertainment website cited that the reason goes deeper than money. It could have been that Shaunie was cheating on Shaq with her personal trainer. People can still expect more revelations as soon as the proceedings will gain its full gear.

In spite of the very huge age gap, Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson was a picture of a perfect Hollywood marriage. Both seem to be living the time of their lives, and their union was soon blessed with a son they called Ryder. But it seems like Kate may have found her real match with Owen Wilson, her co-star for the movie You, Me, and Dupree. According to friends of Kate, Owen makes her laugh and brings out her natural character. She becomes a more free-spirited woman that she wants to be. Adding fuel to the fire, later on, Kate and Chris eventually decided to take the road trudged by many: divorce.

Cheating does not exempt anyone no matter if you’re a fashion celebrity, a renowned actress, or a sports legend. The worst thing is it doesn’t only destroy marriages, it crumbles trust.

Laws of the land recognized the sanctity of marriage. Thus, they impose penalties to anyone who is proven to be guilty of adultery or any other form of adultery. Nevertheless, there are some types of infidelity punishments that go beyond jailing and paying fines.

Since time immemorial, stoning has become a major kind of brutal punishment for philandering. Before, the accused (or ironically the stoning victim) is wrapped with a piece of cloth. Men were buried up to their waist, while the females up to their chest. Then the crowd could begin hurling stones at them until they die.
This practice is still prevalent in a number of Muslim-dominated countries, such as in Iran. During June 29, 2006, an Iranian woman named Malak Ghorbany was sentenced to die by public stoning by the Iranian court. This was after she was found to have committed an adulterous act. Based on their Penal Code, adultery is defined as an intimate relation to an opposite sex other than their partner in marriage. Rape is also considered a form of adultery.

Because numerous human activists have found death by stoning not only gruesome but also inhumane, a petition is being circulated all over the Internet.

Somewhere in Bangkok, Thailand, a 35-year-old-woman got tired of his husband’s cheating ways and decided to take matters into her own hands. When Pornburn Sinthusin returned home after her trip from the metropolis, she was aghast to see her husband together with another woman. Seeking revenge, she intoxicated and drugged her husband. With a use of a very sharp object, Pornburn then cut his husband’s manhood. She the fled the crime scene while the man was brought to the hospital, where he remains in the intensive care unit. Police are suspecting that both the penis and the weapon are still with the suspect as neither of them can be located in the house or even in their toilet.

Harsh punishments too do not pick any age. In Paris, for example, a group of miliants are condemning the execution of a 16-year-old girl after she was convicted of adultery. This created a war between the Muslim conservatives and the liberalists, especially with regards to women’s rights under the Islamic law. The latter believes that there should be fair judgment that should be awarded for both males and females in the grounds of cheating.