To Catch Your Cheating Spouse

Distance is probably one of the most annoying and yet necessary factors in any romantic relationship. It happens to every couple – the time off, the vacation, the work-related trip that takes a loved one away for days, weeks, months, even years.

While most couples insist that the heart does grow fonder with absence, there’s always that nagging temptation that now that the cat is away… the mouse, if he or she wants to, can play. But do you have to? Here are ways to deal with long distance relationships and the temptation to cheat:

Keep your expectations real.
Yes, distance is relative. Some folks suffer when they’re just an hour’s drive away from each other while other couples do well with thousands of miles (and several hours difference) between them. It is also a lot easier for both of you to handle if you’re prepared to it. If it happens too suddenly, it can be a little harsher.

If you’ll be living away from your lovey, accept that there will be some sacrifices. Accept that it’s not going to be the same as being close to each other. If you’re used to having your boyfriend or girlfriend run to you in moments of distress, don’t expect them to take the next train, plane or bus just to give you a shoulder to cry on.

Don’t promise something you can’t deliver.
Some relationships are just made to survive long distances and temptations better than others. If your relationship is based on trust and you have a deep, loving friendship, you’re more likely to overcome space and time. However, the more fiery and strong-willed you both are, the more likely you’ll find it easier to cheat.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.
It’s important you get in touch with each other regularly. Talk about what’s happening in your lives, what your thoughts and feelings are. The more you communicate, the less likely it is you’ll give in to the temptation to cheat.

Don’t lie. Once you start lying, you’ll find it easier to follow one lie with another. Try to keep your communication lines open through phone calls, e-mails and text messages. You’ll ease the longing and pain you both feel and also keep your bond strong.

Be honest with yourself.
Don’t make a commitment you cannot honor. If you truly love someone, you should not have a reason to start an affair. Don’t try to deny that the temptation to cheat will not find you because it will. Instead, accept that it might happen to you but that you’d rather keep the relationship that you have now.

As much as men would not like to admit it, they are very prone to cheating than women. And their female partners knew about this for sure. So it is always upon the women to take counter measures so that her partner would not intentionally or unintentionally cheat on her.

Most infidelity cases happen when the couple is taking separate vacations during the summer. There are a number of infidelity experts who agree to this. To make sure that your partner will not cheat on you over the summer, here are good things to keep in mind:

1. Never go on separate vacations.
Instead, choose a place where the two of you can go, stay, and enjoy. There are a lot of resorts across the continent that you and your spouse, and at times, even the kids can enjoy. And if you do want to bring the kids along, choose the resort that has programs that they can enjoy. That way, you and your partner can enjoy more things by yourself. Read the rest of this entry »

Cheating isn’t new. It’s been around for hundreds, even thousands of years and many of those sexual dalliances have been well documented. The views and practice of cheating have changed over the years and many of the available studies are difficult to confirm. However, here are some very interesting stats you should know about:

According to a 1992 study, men are more likely to cheat than women and the older they get, the better chance they will cheat on their wives and girlfriends. Thirty seven percent of men in the 50 to 59 age range, for example, have cheated. Compare that number to only 7% of men in the 18 to 29 age range.

For women, the old statistic that showed that they cheated as much as men is considered a myth. Women are less likely to stray, although the older they get, the more likely they will have affairs. In general, only about 13% of the women in the study said they had cheated on their partners. In the same year of the study, only 15% of married women cheated, compared to 20% of married men.

Married love
Another survey showed that about 14% of married women were involved in an affair at least once when they were married. For men, it’s 22%. Only 46% of married men knew about their wives’ extramarital affairs while only 30% of married women were aware. According to the book ‘Monogamy Myth’, approximately 60% of men and 40% of women will be involved in an extramarital affair during their married lives.

Cheating and morals
About 60% of Americans think adultery should not be considered a crime in their country while 35% think it should be. However, a whopping 90% of Americans consider adultery as a violation of moral standards.

Cheating and the internet
If you think the internet has made cheating a lot easier, you probably have a point. Sex is the most searched topic on the internet and according to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, about 40 million people in the U.S. have been involved in a sexual way via the internet.

It is also believed that many of the people who join chat rooms and other social networking sites have several ’special friends’. Interestingly, only about 45% of men surveyed said they considered online affairs as adultery and about 75% believe visiting an adult website is acceptable.

The end of the affair
One of the facts showed by several surveys seems to indicate that most affairs have no future. In a study performed by Dr. Jan Halper, for example, out of the 4,100 men (successful professionals, executives and entrepreneurs) surveyed, only 3% of them divorced their wives and walked down the aisle with their lovers.

Apparently, any vehicle is not safe from the eyes and ears of private detectives due to a loophole found in Italian laws.

Last August 2, 2007, Lorenzo Benini, a judge in the courts of Brescia, Italy, acquitted twenty-two people who have been accused of invasion of privacy. These individuals included spouses who had availed the services of a private agency to tail their partners and employees of the said agency who secretly planted satellite tracking devices and hidden microphones in their spouses’ cars. Customers were charged up to £1,000.

The twenty-two individuals were arrested when the police found some of the hidden devices. The judge, however, did not believe that the act of implanting the said items is not a criminal offense because “however disconcerting this may be, I find no penalty under the law for intercepting private conversations or communications in a vehicle. It is not illegal.” He further clarified that current privacy laws only specified use of tracking devices and similar items planted at a suspect’s home as illegal and nowhere else.

Benini nevertheless acknowledged that this newly discovered loophole was definitely a cause for concern and suggested that the Parliament should study the matter at hand to make the necessary changes. With this ruling, Italian citizens may be tempted to twist the legalities in their favor to get away with all possible acts of espionage.

In another case but still in Italy, a man was found guilty of excessive marital jealousy and the Court of Cassation ordered the man, only identified as Roberto, to not only leave his marital home but to move to another town as well. This was done in order to prevent him from trying to control his wife’s life any further.

The case revealed how Roberto would use a video surveillance camera to ensure that his wife Maria did not leave their home without his approval and that he even asked his mother to stay in their home whenever he was away.

An Italian women’s magazine, Donna Moderna, recently conducted a survey and which showed how 92% of Italian women would not forgive their spouses for acts of infidelity. This survey was taken one week after the resignation of Catholic MP Cosimo Mele for being caught spending a night with two prostitutes.

Of course, all debacles over marital jealousy in Italy could have an unforeseen and controversial ending if a bill proposing that marriages officiated and sanctioned by religious sects other than the Roman Catholic religion would be considered official. If approved, this would then legalize polygamous marriages of Muslim individuals.

Cheating can either be extremely difficult to prove or very easy to confirm. It all depends on the player. Here are several emotional and behavioral shifts to watch out for that may signal that someone is cheating:

Shifts in emotions
Cheating can wreck havoc in human emotions and it can cause many unusual changes in people. For anyone who cheats, it’s either the guilt or the lack of it that usually gives them away. Certain emotional signs that point to cheating include:

Distraction
People who cheat are often distant, thinking of other things that were once not part of their usual concerns. This behavior will persist, even if they’re not having problems at work or at home. When prodded, they will make vague excuses. Read the rest of this entry »

When someone calls it cheating, is it really so? When the green monster rears its ugly head, does it have any grounds?

Getting jealous and cheating seem to be connected at the hip and if you’re playing safe, you’ll easily find six degrees of separation between the two. So how do you differentiate being jealous against being just territorial? And does flirting often mean someone’s cheating?

Thou shalt not go further
Determining whether someone is cheating or not should have been a lot easier were it not for emotions. If emotions were not present, the complication would not even be there. Read the rest of this entry »

Although polygamy or marriages where an individual has more than one marital partners is now known by most people as exclusive territory of Islam religion, it appears otherwise in its controversial history.

In Chinese cultures, only one wife was acceptable for Chinese men but there is no limit to how many concubines or mistresses he may take and this has been practiced openly from ancient times till before the formation of the People’s Republic of China.

Statistics report how many Chinese men, including those living in Hong Kong and their other territories, still kept second wives, albeit in a more discreet fashion this time, and in spite of possible legal repercussions.

In Hinduism, polygamy was only evident in ancient times. The establishment of Hindu Marriage Law and religious edicts now forbids followers of Hinduism, Sikhism, and Jainism to become polygamous.

In Judaism, it is quite ironic how biblical characters like Abraham and Jacob are described as polygamous. During those times, polygamy was not entirely common but it did happen and it was not perceived as something bad. Of course, modern day Judaism do not allow their followers to practice polygamy now.

In Buddhism, there is no actual law that labels polygamy as a violation of any sort, but one of its philosophies does suggest desisting from extra-marital relationships. Its Tibetan branch, however, accepts cases where consorts are taken by an individual if his or her respective partner is unable to participate in spiritual practices. Both parties may have their own consorts. The taking of consort is referred to as consort practice.

In Christianity, St. Augustine sought to explain the changes of laws on polygamy. While he didn’t make any judgment on known polygamists like Abraham, Moses, and Jacob, he did specify that the patriarchs had reasons to do so, all of which were at that time deemed acceptable, such as to increase the number of their population. Lastly, he explained that for today and in keeping with Roman custom, polygamy is no longer considered an acceptable practice.

There were several incidents in Christianity that the non-acceptance of polygamy was reversed. During the Thirty Years’ War, the churches allowed males to marry up to ten women to bulk up the then-shrunken population, provided that they were able to continue behaving in an honorable manner, provide for all their dependents, and prevent their wives from harboring ill will against each other.

And lastly, there is the notorious issue of polygamy in Mormonism. It began when its founder Joseph Smith declared that his dream told him how some men were called to have a “plural marriage”. Polygamy has long been banned, however, and those caught violating are excommunicated.

No matter what they tell you, cheating is not a local activity and it’s as timeless as it is universal. Throughout history, there have been men and women who played against society’s rules about relationships. Here is a short list of some of the most famous cheaters we have ever known:

Casanova
His name is not just synonymous to lover, it is also synonymous to womanizer. Giacomo Casanova was born in Venice in 1725. Although he was primarily a writer and adventurer, he was also a charming and cunning seducer.

Casanova’s first sexual experience was a clue to his future behavior, losing his virginity to not one, but two women – sisters, to be exact. It is not known how many conquests he has had, because the man was a libertine, managing to gain wealth, only to lose it due to his numerous affairs.

Henriette
If there’s one woman who is considered to have conquered Casanova, it’s this one. Henriette is not her real name – it’s most probably Adelaide de Gueidan, a married woman running away from her husband because of… you guessed it, infidelity. Casanova fell hard for Henriette, who loved him and used him.

Henry VIII
Henry VIII was Elizabeth I’s father. He cheated on his first wife, Catherine of Aragon with Elizabeth’s mother, Anne Boleyn, whom he first noticed as a lady-in-waiting. Unfortunately for her, Anne was not Henry’s first or last indiscretion. When he tired of her, he accused her of infidelity and witchcraft and promptly had her beheaded.

Franklin D. Roosevelt
Bill Clinton was not the only famous cheater who was also president of America. FDR had a long affair with Lucy Mercer, his secretary. His wife, the unbelievably composed Eleanor, offered to give him a divorce but FDR’s mother threatened to disinherit him. In the end, he stayed married to his wife, who lived in a separate residence after her discovery of his infidelity.

John F. Kennedy
Marilyn Monroe was not JFK’s only affair – he cheated his wife Jackie with numerous women. However, it’s the blonde bombshell who is considered as his most famous love. Their affair was intense, as evidenced by Marilyn’s sexually-charged performance singing ‘Happy birthday, Mr. President’. The affair was reported to have ended just before Marilyn accidentally died of drug overdose in 1962.

Bakker and Swaggart
Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart were two of the most famous tele-evangelists of the 80s and the 90s. They are also famous cheaters. Their fall from grace was caused by dalliances with other women – Bakker with his secretary and Swaggart with a prostitute. Although Swaggart met with several prostitutes before he was arrested by the police, it was his indiscretion in a car that finally destroyed his evangelical career.

Men and women became partners or couples for a lot of reasons. Some love each other so much. Others do it for companionship, while there are some of those that became partners for convenience. Regardless of what the reason is, there is only one thing important - and that is to nurture the affection and fondness that the couple has for each other.

But as with any other relationship, problems arise. And in a men and women relationship, cheating is almost always the major problem. While cheating have a number of reasons, there is one known good solution so that it can be prevented. And that would be to praise and appreciate your partner more. Here are the things why it is important:

1. Praising your loved one brings out the best in him or her.
Any person loves to be flattered. If your partner begins to realize that you see all the good things in him and about him, then he might not look for another person to do that for him instead. He will begin to see you as the person that admires him most so he’ll more probably do the same with you.

2. Being appreciated by another person is very a refreshing feeling.
If you start to appreciate even the small things your spouse does for you, then he will feel special. He will feel good about himself and strive to be an even better person. And when that happens, cheating would be the last thing in his mind.

3. Appreciating your spouse makes him feel wanted.
Every time you appreciate your husband, you make him feel that his presence is needed in your life. It will also show him that his actions are not overseen. Therefore, he will begin to slowly change his ways for the better. If he is wanted around the house, there should be no reason for him to go anywhere else.

4. Praising your spouse may make him love you more.
Try to praise a puppy after training and he’ll do things better next time. The same is true for husbands, or any other people for that matter. Give your husband his daily dose of praise and he will surely love you back a thousand fold!

Praise your loved one every single day. Do it as sweetly as you can and just sit back and see the transformation!

So you think your guy’s cheating on you? Before you confront him with your suspicion, gather evidence first. Remember: the evidence will not lie. Here are several physical checkups you can do to find out if you’re being cheated on.

The body electric
Certain physical signs show up in the body as marks. The most obvious of course, are the hickeys left in areas where you didn’t put them. You might also find other things, such as fingernail scratches on the back, arms, thighs or legs. His underwear may also be stained. Read the rest of this entry »