To Catch Your Cheating Spouse

As part of their so-called machismo, most men try to prove their masculinity by means of showing off their long list of women collectibles. If you suspect that your significant other is cheating on you, then don’t fret. You are in the same boat with a thousand more women. Husbands claim that they cheat on their wives for a reason. It’s either they no longer feel the same affection or passion, something’s lacking in the marriage, they’ve lost the trust and respect for their wives, and several other excuses made up for the purpose of justifying their action. Infidelity is a major issue for the married populace. But you don’t have to submit yourself to suffer a lifetime with a cheating husband.

The following are some tips to control your husband from cheating. It won’t hurt if you try. After all, wives are often noted for their martyrdom in saving their families from total disaster.

Don’t suffer in silence. It doesn’t mean though that you’ll have to nag your husband everytime you lay eyes on him. Talk to him. Talk about your personal issues. You are the only ones who can save your marriage. Opening up with one another usually works.

Face the fact of life. They say that men normally go through the stage of getting overwhelmed with the affection that they feel from other women. Maybe he’s just confused. You are not alone in this problem. A lot of women suffer the worst. Face your problem and be ready to accept life’s reality bites.

Assess yourself. Have you been good enough for him? Have you been loving all this time? Were you always by his side and did you make him feel loved, wanted, needed, and appreciated?

Take a firm stand. Tell him your concerns and be ready with your defense. Express your dislike of his action. Make him aware that you know what he’s doing.

Bring him into a realization. Recall the sacrifices both of you had made. Consider your children. Guide him towards seeing what he’s actually ruining and giving up.

Shield your own sexuality. You are not a toy doll that can just be left unattended in one corner. You aren’t a bed wherein he can rest after he’s tired of playing around. Empower yourself.

Be mentally and emotionally ready. His cheating on you may lead to the most unfavorable circumstances. It can be the reason for you to part ways.

Be aware of your legal rights. As the wife, you are entitled to a lot of support privileges.

Get counselling. It will be best to seek the help of the professionals. They know best about the tips on how to control your husband from cheating.

Act now. Don’t wait for the time when the situation gets out of hand. You can always create a difference and save your family if only you bear in mind the tips on how to control your cheating husband.

Cheating on one’s spouse used to be detected with the usual evidences such as a lady’s scent on his shirt, lipstick smudges and unfamiliar names on his cell phone. Well, those days are long gone since technology has evolved, so has ways to commit infidelity! Nowadays, chat rooms and websites can beckon anyone to commit adultery.

Robert Teitelbaum, a divorce lawyer from Montreal, states that the number of his clients, who have discovered ‘virtual infidelity’, have increased. Innocent-looking chat rooms could become meeting places and love e-mails could actually seal relationships. Gerald Stotland (also a lawyer) agrees with Teitelbaum saying that there really was an increase on evidences that have been gathered over the Internet.

Forensics expert John Wiechman sometimes works with Stotland in acquiring online evidences against spouses who cheat the modern way. Wiechman is the TLSI founder and president and his company works on many cases of computer data recovery. Wiechman confirmed that forensics experts can now help in uncovering cheating spouses who commit adultery over the Internet. This is, of course, is as bad as physically committing the act itself. Wiechman’s advice to those who are planning to commit virtual affairs because of the thought that they won’t be caught—just don’t do it—there are trails of evidences that only expert users are able to uncover.

Companies such as that of Wiechman’s could help in uncovering the trails left by the cheating spouse. The trail is not easily erased by deleting browsing history. Data recovery experts can uncover trails almost all of the time and the latest technologies that computer forensics offer can already be used as evidences in courts.

Most people might think that being on a virtual affair is not harmful to the marriage as no physical contact is established. But this destroys the very essence of marriage—a foundation based on trust. Nowadays, it is so easy to commit adultery and most disgruntled spouses seek the help of forensics expert—and for a good reason. The evidences that computer forensics present are incontrovertible.

Seeing someone at ‘arm’s length’ or engaging in cyber-sex is as evil as actually establishing a physical relationship with anyone. Having an avatar babe can be as damaging to one’s family as having a real person interfere with the marriage. For example, the husband tends to make up excuses to be online when he could just easily spend that precious moment with his wife or children. It can be very pathetic when the online life that one leads would finally eat up the real life that he has.

Infidelity continues to ravage through marriages year after year and the letter sent to Dr. Miriam of Mirror.co.uk only proves this further. One husband’s letter discusses how his wife cheated on him by sleeping with his past best friend. He stated that he only learned about the infidelity when his former best friend’s son told him that he saw the two sleeping together.

The letter goes on with the husband stating that he has long suspected that something fishy is going on except that he thought that his wife could not meet up with the guy because he moved away. It was also noble of him to say that he longs to stay with his wife even after the affair. He thinks that they should start over and forget what happened.

Dr. Miriam’s response was wise. She said that it is best to discuss the infidelity issue with the wife, first, before heading on to other things such as starting over. She further admonishes the husband to openly share how he feels with his wife especially when the wife slept with another man. The bottom line is, the husband should let go of all his bottled emotions and allow his wife to come out in the open before they could work on rebuilding what was destroyed.

As it is true that marriages can recover from infidelity, the process that the couple has to go through can be harrowing. First, the admission of guilt, then the process of forgiveness. It takes time—much, much time and love for the couple to come out of the ashes and move on with a fresh life. The only way sure way to finally let go of the bitter memories is to forget that they even occurred—and this is difficult.

It would also help if the spouse who did the cheating would start to account his/her activities outside of the home. This does not mean incomplete trust from the honest spouse but this would help in establishing the broken value of trust. Also, it would help if the couple would spend more romantic moments together (going out on dates such as watching movies or dining out). There are so many other ways to conquer the obstacles of a ‘near-divorce’ and yet, what remains to be the most important would always be—love. This is the single ingredient that should not be missed on the process of recovery.

December 2007 was not a happy month for the celebrity couple—Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. Both have been constantly grilled about the internet scandal that came up during that month (which was, unfortunately, just a few months after their lavish wedding). The scandal put Parker and Longoria in the spotlight when a model admitted that she and Tony have an affair. She further confessed that she had known Parker since the day he got married as he was introduced to her by a common friend.

Parker immediately started legal processes against X17online.com where, he stated, the rumors began to circulate. The San Antonio Spurs star further pointed out that whoever was spreading this nasty rumor is ‘wicked’. Eva Longoria stood by her husband and never once has she pointed a finger at him and accused him of the alleged affair. The two remain very much married and there are even additional rumors that they soon will have a baby but Parker denied this, too. He said that when the time is right, he and his wife will be having the third member in their family but now that their careers are on the peak, they have yet to plan for that day.

Infidelity is common among celebrities—statistics have proven over and over that people who have more money and who are constantly in association with attractive people are more prone to extra-marital affairs. The sad part about being famous is that the money which is supposed to be used to buy happiness for the couple is not being used in that manner. Instead, the extra wealth that couples have, tend to drive them farther from each other.

Since celebrities are more prone to infidelity (fame, good looks and being surrounded by equally stunning people and adoring fans are factors to committing infidelity), they should work double time in fortifying their marriage against the destruction caused by probable divorce. It could take much more effort to stay faithful in this type of marriage but this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible.

Just like ordinary marriages, celebrity couples should spend more time with each other and should have their communication lines open. This means that anything that is lacking in their marriage should not be kept, instead, discussed in the open. Also, it is important that when they have assignments that would physically take them away from their partner, they should remember that the people that they’re going to meet up with are just business associates.

Also, acts of endearment should be constantly done (especially that they have more money than the average Joe). This means that during the times that they can spend time with each other, famous couples should invest on romantic getaways and activities together. The key to keeping celebrity marriages intact is to regularly do activities to keep the flame burning—and this means much, much more activities!

Prior to Valentine’s Day of 2008, Tennessee has participated on an infidelity research reviewed by Maggie Scarf and conducted by D.A. Buss. The statistics shown by the research were staggering as the lowest possible estimate was recorded at 16% while the top percentage was at 70%. With this numbers, the researchers were compelled to conclude that about 55% of men who are married are bound to have affairs while 45% of the married woman population could also succumb to the same fate.

This only pins further the annual divorce rate of Tennessee (they are on the top five states out of the total 50). The research also proved the theory that upper-class married men have more ‘tendencies’ to commit extra-marital affairs. This means that men who have lower income are less ‘tempted’ to have an affair. Other factors include mobility or more travels, and being in constant contact with beautiful and highly successful individuals.

The statistics also showed that couples with higher income spend less time with each other as compared to couples with lower income, hence, they have more chances of having an affair. It is sad to note that whatever extra these well-to-do couples have are not being spent to buy moments together. Their affluence, in fact, drives them further from their home and marriage. The only consolation to this research is that most of the relationships that undergo infidelity are able to recover and most couples seek help.

Divorce ravages many marriages in the U.S. and, perhaps, it would be hard to immediately fight this reality. But there can be ways to safeguard marriages from the ravaging claws of infidelity. Primarily, since most affairs take place at work, it is important to be constantly on guard while at work. This does not mean that one has to alienate himself from the other employees but just to keep relationships purely business.

Other ways to prevent infidelity in your own marriage is to avoid being a ‘shoulder to cry on’ for anyone no matter how sappy they look. During travel opportunities at work, it is best to meet up in places that are public rather than in rooms with beds. The line of communication at home should be constantly open. This means that any ill feelings should be openly discussed and resolved. Also, it is always safest to put the home computer at an area where it cannot be locked.

Most important of all, you’ve got to love your husband/wife and be ready to make room for personality differences. Always remember that that person at home has built more memories with you more than that person at work. There are so many ways of putting walls against the dangers of infidelity. Your marriage need not become another number in countless statistics.

Valentine’s Day was not a good one this year for Basanti, an Indian woman who was found murdered, and allegedly because of her supposed infidelity. Basanti was found near a petrol pump. She was a resident of a slum, mother to three children, and wife to Narasingha Jena, a man who is now under suspicion for her murder. Jena, age forty-three, is said to have dumped the body of his dead wife near the area before he burned it. Basanti’s remains have now been sent to a lab for a post-mortem review.

According to the preliminary investigation, the husband killed his wife, and then tried to burn her body afterward. The man is an auto-rickshaw driver, and he married his late wife almost a decade ago. A daughter and two sons completed their family. A few months ago, he had rented out part of his house to a man named Balakrishna; this man then had an illicit relationship with Basanti. Narasingha Jena had been hitherto unaware of the affair, until he caught Basanti and Balakrishna in the act only on the night before he murdered her in anger.

Both Balakrishna and Narasingha Jena are now missing. Balakrishna, moreover, cannot be traced (http://www.telegraphindia.com/1080215/jsp/nation/story_8903059.jsp).

There are very few statistics that deal with crimes of passion, and often, people think that such crimes exist only in the movies. Sadly, the human heart being what it is, crimes of passion are still quite replete, and many persons all over the world find themselves acting crazily after witnessing their spouses committing the grave, sometimes unforgivable act of adultery. Sometimes, even suspicion can drive a good many crimes to completion.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics (available through its official website at http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/), about half of the marriages in 2001 ended in divorce. It would be wrong to assume that all these marriages ended because of cheating, but it is tempting to impute such knowledge given the abundance of cheating cases.

If you are suspicious about your husband and wife cheating on you, start looking for telltale signs first before you jump to any conclusions – and keep your temper in check or you might end up behind bars for the rest of your life! Watch out for Valentine’s Day, when your spouse might have to find dozens of excuses to meet up with his or her lover. If you confront your cheating spouse about the issue of cheating in other couples, watch for his or her reaction: supporting cheating and its different permutations might be a sign that your spouse is trying to find justification for his or her actions.

Are you suspecting that your spouse is having an extramarital affair? Are you afraid that your spouse is cheating on you and completely draining your savings to pay for his or her indiscretions? You can start looking for the signs after Valentine’s Day, says Ruth Houston, through her book “Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs.” Believe it or not, a cheating spouse can actually reveal his or her weaknesses just after hearts’ day comes along.

Houston, with her Valentine’s Day Infidelity Awareness Campaign, which happens annually, has much to say about the post-Valentine’s hoopla that can surround the concealment of an affair. You simply need to know what to look for in order to see if your spouse is indeed keeping something from you. For instance, if you discovered a hidden gift before Valentine’s Day, but it wasn’t given to you, and it also disappeared, then you can be sure that your spouse is cheating on you. If you find that your spouse purchases two identical gifts (reflected on receipts), and if you find purchase receipts for romantic gifts that you did not receive, such as lingerie or jewelry, or worse, if you find receipts for gifts that never found their way to you, then you can start suspecting that something is awry.

Husbands, if your wives have romantic gifts on hand, such as lingerie or jewelry, but have no receipt to show for it despite the fact that they claim that they bought it for themselves, then you can start suspecting something. Are you finding restaurant receipts for places that you didn’t go to on the dates leading to and immediately after the 14th? What about hotels or motels? Telephone bills with numbers you don’t know, and showing calls made on V-Day?

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, as many as half the marriages per one thousand people ended in divorce in 2001 in the US. Although not all of these involved a cheating spouse, you can suspect that some amount of cheating came into play. And although the numbers of cheating spouses is rising, Houston says that confrontation should not be the first line of defense or offense. Always look for additional proof, she says, before jumping to conclusions. This way, you can keep your marriage intact should your suspicions be unfounded – and have substantial proof in order to confront your spouse well enough should you indeed want to do so.

About half of marriages are lost to divorce each year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, and many marriages find their own doomsday when at least one spouse starts to cheat. The signs of a cheating spouse abound in weakly founded marriages, and sometimes, temptation gets too great for even the strongest marriages, so that one spouse that you would not imagine cheating suddenly falls prey and loses his or her grip on the marriage vows. There’s still another way to catch those cheaters: try Valentine’s Day or thereabouts, writer Ruth Houston says.

Houston, who organized the annual Valentine’s Day Infidelity Awareness Campaign, may probably be the cause of why women and men are now more vigilant when the day of hearts comes along. Houston’s book, “Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs,” have allowed more people to be more aware of how Valentine’s Day can actually be the best place to catch a cheater. Houston sees the red-letter day as the peak season of cheating – it may be the most romantic day of the year, she says, but everywhere, cheaters will be roaming in order to give and receive gifts from their “special others” during Valentine’s Day.

The dark side of Valentine’s Day, Houston claims, is rarely examined or talked about, and is often overshadowed by the media hype of romance, places to go, gifts to get, and things to do. It is for this reason that Houston conducts the campaign every year, and, for its fifth year running, the theme in 2008 is How to Catch a Cheater on Valentine’s Day. The campaign itself, Houston says, is meant to increase public awareness about how Valentine’s Day and cheating are connected; encourage spreading the word through mass and online media about how Valentine’s Day is also fraught with cheating; and to alert suspicious people on how useful Valentine’s Day can be to catch cheaters, as well as to advise these people on how to catch the cheater.

The three days that sandwich Valentine’s Day are the best time to catch the cheating spouse, Houston claims. At this time, cheaters will start buying gifts and give them to their lovers personally. These gifts will leave a paper trail in the form of receipts. Cheating women will go through great lengths – and give tons of excuses – to make themselves available for receiving gifts from their secret lovers. For more information on how to deal with such spouses once they are caught, visit Houston’s blog and website in order to find out more.

How easy is it to find your lover? The click of a mouse is all it takes, says this article, which tells of people who have met online because of dating sites and social networking stations built for the international arena. Thanks to profiles that provide information on everything from someone’s astrological sign to his or her favorite brand of lipstick, social networking can actually facilitate romance. The Internet has changed the face of dating and looking for a potential mate: because people are not much older when they start looking for their husbands or wives, the traditional bars and pubs just don’t cut it anymore.

On the popular Irish dating site Maybefriends.com, there are about six thousand members who range in age from their late twenties to early forties, but there are even users who are past their seventies! Another increasingly popular site is Anotherfriend.com, which claims to have over a hundred thousand registered members, and that’s just from Ireland! For some people, online dating makes it much easier to find love, especially when work entails a lot of sitting down at one’s computer.

The article mentions the case of a woman and a man who met online, and whose shared interests led them to resolve to meet each other. It turns out that they went to school together – a realization that perhaps strengthened their bond, which allowed them to eventually get married. Now, they have a child. This story is becoming more and more common around the world, as more and more singles get the chance to fall in love – but it can be an easy way for people to have an affair as well.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the year 2001 saw about half of marriages crumble into divorce. Although this is not an absolute statistic for cheating, it may be a sign that marriages are growing more and more vulnerable – and as technology advances, this downward slide may be all the more easy. In one such case, a man broke up with his girlfriend so that he could move in with a woman whom he had been having an online affair with. When he moved in with her, however, he started cheating again.

Both sexual and emotional infidelity exist online: some people will pour out their emotions to someone else, but this does not necessarily lead to a sexual follow through. In some cases, however, it does, and it can certainly break up relationships quite painfully.

Cheating is certainly not the way to go in any relationship, and it certainly isn’t the right thing to do. But according to an article, if you are a middle-aged woman who is trying to cope with a dry or unexciting marriage, then you may as well be having an affair; and if you are not giving it some serious thought, or if you do not have one already, then your behavior is unnatural.

The article mentions the case of a woman who, once her children were old enough, left her marriage and filed for divorce, and then started online dating through a special website. The article, however, qualifies that it is not praising infidelity – rather, it is seeing infidelity as natural when a marriage is dried out, and when a woman is forced to compromise her happiness in favor of security and obligation. The website itself, RSVP, has quite a number of older women looking for a second chance at love after having lived through bad marriages.

Other women in the article are truly having affairs and not filing for divorce. One is annoyed with her husband’s couch potato lifestyle, and went out to have an affair, which ended disastrously. Another woman was disappointed in her husband, and, with separate rooms from each other, she decided to revive her sex life, but with someone else. Another woman has dumped her boyfriend, leaving his cynicism behind to take up with another man. What this shows, the article says, is that women need intimacy and romance, not sex.

The article contends that women have their own mid-life crisis, in which they finally find that the children are able to fend for themselves, but they, as women, have not yet grown fully or experienced their life to the fullest. Of course, not all women are the same: there are those who are in fulfilling and happy marriages, and there are women who age well, finding ways to mend their marriages or cope with potentially dry and boring lives. And still, there is another group of women that will resort to dealing with the situation by escaping into different hobbies, such as plastic surgery, parties with friends, gossiping, and the like. The insights in the article, therefore, should not be thought of as applicable to all women.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics about half of the marriages in 2001 ended in divorce – an alarming number that is not necessarily reflective of any signs of cheating, but one that is frightening all the same.